Lone Tree, Colorado
At my Bon Voyage party before this amazing journey began, my friends jokingly said this was like Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Eat, Pray, Love” which is one of my favorite reads of all time. So I half-heartedly adopted that title for my blog of this vacation. I hope you don’t mind Elizabeth! Little did I know it would ring more true than I could have imagined. To summarize the past two weeks, I will steal from this amazing author and say:
Eat – I have eaten well. I have tried new foods, drinks and dining experiences. French, Italian, Polynesian. This trip kicked me out of my comfort zone and the foods, wines and other beverages I enjoyed were astounding. I have always been one to stay within my comfort zone with food, but I found that was so limiting. And the fact that the food and wine we enjoyed only enhanced the personal experience was a lesson learned. That is the truth – food and the experience of it binds us in friendship and relationship. It is part of what brings us together and seals our collective experiences. And thanks to Dr. Carl, I have learned the better the wine and the knowledge of it, the deeper and more quality the experience. The shared meals and dining experiences created friendships and relationships that I believe will last for many years.
Pray – My daily mornings on my balcony actually brought me back to the God I have been questioning. So much has happened to me these past two years, my faith has been tested, my beliefs put into question. But here, I found my God again, only He is bigger and more beautiful than I ever gave Him credit. He is everywhere in this world of ours. He is in the energy that surrounds us, the thoughts in our minds, in the majestic scenery I soaked in every day. He is me, and I am Him. I am thankful to Him for all I am, for all I have, for the experience and the voice in my head that made me open up to the lessons this experience had to teach me. I find I can forgive, accept and love despite it all. This, in the most simplistic way, is the Divine. It is my God and I finally am at peace again with Him and am happy to know I have never left His arms through all the tribulations and trials this life has brought. Maybe that’s the lesson. As Virginia Satir says, “Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. How you deal with that is what makes the difference.” God is there as I deal with my realities, my truths, my hurts, no matter where the current takes me. His love is unconditional and His majesty in this world is unquestionable as I look again at the mountains of Bora Bora and waters of the South Pacific.
Love – Ahhhh, yes. I have loved. I have taken into my heart new friendships. Melanie, Milt, Carl, Lindsay…will be forever imprinted on my heart as part of a life experience that has had a tremendous impact on me. Their influence played a big part in that. I learned to love complete strangers for their wisdom and insights into this life – they have taught me so very much in such a short time. And I have met a man who knows the color of my eyes, the hurts of my heart and the promise of what’s to come. I will always be grateful for the time I shared with him and for the affect he had on me. He made me feel beautiful and whole and at peace. And he looked deep inside and saw ME and loved me none-the-less.
Thank you to those of you who have read this journal and have sent me messages about what you have read. I’ve never done this before and am so glad I did on this journey, because it has truly changed my life. Thank you for being my friends, for loving me enough to put up with the wanderings of my mind and heart. And thank you to my children for their support of this experience and for being the North Star in my world, you keep me focused, remind me to stay centered and are the greatest gifts I have ever been given. This blog/journal/diary is dedicated to you – my Stephen and my Jessica. I love you – thank you for loving me and for your patience as I have traversed two rough years to a better, more happy place. You are my life – my reasons for being the best that I can be.
This is for you…